Why do Baby Boomers have so much trouble with remote controls and take so long with self-checkout?

By Donovan Frasier

Several websites, including Vox, Cheezburger and Elite Daily, recently compiled a list of things Baby Boomers do that mystify, confound and drive Millennials crazy. Here’s a selection.

Why does my dad keep playing “Forever Young” by the Stones? Hey dad! It’s over, it didn’t work out. Get used to it!

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Why do Baby Boomers use so many ellipses in their texts? And then there are those godawful exclamation points. Message from Mom: “We’ll talk more about it when I see you ….!!!”

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Why can’t Baby Boomers figure out the remote control?

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Why do Baby Boomers type so damn loud? Do they still think they’re on those old fashioned typewriters?

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What’s their hangup about ripped jeans? Aren’t they the morons who wore bell bottoms?

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Why do Baby Boomers think everyone’s trying to hack their Facebook page? Who really gives a crap about the pictures of their grandkids and the names of all their lame friends?

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Why do Boomers wake up at 5 a.m.? What do think they’re gonna miss?

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Why do old folks talk so much about real estate investments? Hey, you’re only going to be around a few more years and then we’ll inherit all your stuff.

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Why do Baby Boomers have such loud annoying ring tones?

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Why do Baby Boomers hit “reply all” on their emails when they only need it to go to one person?

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Why do they need an instruction manual to figure out how to make things work?

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Why do they keep all their old cassette tapes? Do they think their grandchildren will want them?

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Why do Baby Boomers get so excited about Donald Trump and Joe Biden? Is it because they’re old like them?

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Why do Baby Boomer guys talk so loudly and have hair growing out of all their orifices?