Even during times of duress, we can still choose to feel good about ourselves, to try something new

By Karla Freeman

During my career in the healing arts, I dreamt of being an actor. I joined improv groups, went to acting classes; I performed; I auditioned, all while I lived and worked in Santa Barbara, California. My day job as a psychotherapist specializing in healing trauma was interesting and valuable work, but my heart was in my own creative life as a writer and performer. I knew this was right for me because I felt great joy during theatre and writing experiences, even in the challenging times, and there were many.

My mother was a talented woman. She expressed her frustrations in telling me stories of missed opportunities. In those days, she had few options. My life had been blessed with many options and I chose to keep that awareness in the foreground. Why I am doing what I am today is because I am willing to live as an actress/storyteller/poet/writer.

Today I am a storyteller. I perform a 40-minute solo show called CrossRoads: A mermaid’s tail. I wrote this story, or better said it wrote me, while living in South America and visiting the land of the indigenous culture called Mapuche in Chile.

The inspired story includes a myth, my poetry and personal stories. I love to dance, as did my mother. I honor my mother and I dance during the show. As far back as we can know, storytelling has been a healing interactive experience.

I am also a trauma therapist trained by Peter Levine in an approach called Somatic Experiencing. In the myth, a trauma healing journey is portrayed by the characters, a mermaid and sea horse and tree.

To understand how trauma healing works, read Levine’s book Waking the Tiger, a basic manual about how your nervous system can heal itself.

Currently I live outside the US in Cuenca, Ecuador after living in Ireland, land of the Druids. I perform and I write

When I left Santa Barbara to explore a new life for the first time, it was to learn tango in Buenos Aires. Was I scared? You bet. I was alone and didn’t speak much Spanish. My tango mentor, Cheri Mangus, took me on a tango tour, encouraged me with tips to keep me going. During a lesson with her and her teaching partner, Reuben, she said to him, “Look at her feet.” She meant I danced pretty well even as a beginner.

I was in dance heaven. Days spent in lessons and most evenings a dance halls daring to dress up, hoping to dance with an experienced Argentine tango dancer. But most times I was too overwhelmed to do the ritual of noddng to a man I wanted to dance with. Women had to do this so the man could nod back and walk to your table. Then you enter the dance floor, start dancing to the melodic, mesmerizing music of Gardel or other classic tango music.

I believe we all know how to be happy. Maybe it is a glimmer or even a spark we feel, but we know something. Maybe it was something you did as a child that you loved, like me with dancing. If you do that thing even if you are afraid of, even in small increments, and are ok to fail and get up. Again and again. Well, I know you will be happier. And then what? You go on.

Each evening, I would come home from dancing or watching others dance with such grace, exhausted and terrified and happy. But I did it. I dared to dance the tango.

Why is this story important? Because it is a template for my life. Also, this story of how I learned tango in Buenos Aires has become one of my favorite stories to perform. I speak of the lessons, the shoe buying, and celebrating my birthday dancing tango. I dance tango in the story in front of an audience.

I have told this story in Mexico, Portugal, England, Ireland, and Ecuador and other places. Each time I tell the story, I end with the take away line: “I still have the voice that says you can’t do that. You can’t dance tango. But I say: Yes, I can. I can dance tango and more.”

Do I do other things I am afraid of? You bet.
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Karla Freeman, MFA, MSW, SEP (Trauma therapist) was a Cuenca resident for many years who has lived in Argentina, Ireland, and Mexico since leaving Santa Barbara.  She is the author of Creating Magic in Midlife, available through Amazon She can contacted through her website www.KarlaFreemanStoryteller.com