They’re spooning in the park; Looking for that perfect word in a second language; And another Cuenca joke

There was a lot of spooning going on in Parque de la Madre last Friday, at least from this reporter’s vantage point.

In case you don’t know, spooning is when a guy snuggles up behind a women, his crotch to her butt, fully clothed (otherwise, it’s called something else). It’s commonly practiced by young couples as they lie on the grass in various venues, such as parks and college greens.

Spooning on the grass at Parque de la Madre.

Some of you old-timers might recall back in the ‘50s and ‘60s when spooning was a big controversy on college campuses. Students caught spooning by spies for the dean of student affairs could be hauled before the honor court and, if found guilty, be fined or, in extreme cases, expelled. At Ole’ Miss, lynching was the standard punishment.

One of the reasons for all the spooning in Cuenca parks and other public places is that most unmarried young adults in Latin America live at home with generally prudish parents and engaging in extreme demonstrations of affection before marriage is verboten.

My favorite spooning story comes courtesy of one of my favorite novelists, Vladimir Nabokov.

One day in the 1950s, in the English department faculty lounge at Cornell University, a rather prim and proper lady professor and noted scholar of Wordsworthian sonnets was looking out the window onto the campus green when she exclaimed with great indignation, “Oh my God, they’re spooning again!”

Not missing a beat, Nabokov replied, “Well Mildred, you should be thankful that they’re not forking.”

Learning Spanish, Learning English
I occasionally hear complaints from expats about the poor English language skills of Cuencanos. Typically, the argument goes that since us gringos are God’s gift to Ecuador, the residents should show their gratitude by learning English. This was the suggestion from the beefy Texan I met at a party a couple weeks ago. He told me he’s learned the important words in español – taco, burrito and cerveza – and doesn’t plan to do more studying.

A couple waits for their order with aroused expectations at an Av. República del Salvador restaurant in Quito.

Well, I’m happy to report to my Tex-Mex buckaroo that that the locals are, indeed, picking up some key English words, although many of them are profane. Check out the graffiti in El Centro and you’ll see what I mean.

And just as expats speaking Spanish as a second language occasionally mess up when they’re trying to pick just the right word for the situation, Ecuadorians do the same in English. My favorite example is the advertisement for sandwich shop in Quito’s Parque Carolina district where a publicist was looking for a hard-hitting superlative to attract customers.

A Cuenca joke
A man goes into a Cuenca tailor shop to have a missing shirt button replaced.

The sastre takes a look and says, “No problem, it will be ready on Friday,” and hands the man a claim ticket.

The next day the man gets a call that his mother is sick in Quito and he leaves town. One thing leads to another and the man stays in Quito for two years to look after his elderly parents.

When he finally returns to Cuenca, the man discovers the ticket for the shirt. Without much expectation of recovering it, he decides to check with the sastreria anyway. He goes back to the shop on Presidente Cordova and hands over the ticket. The sastre looks at it, frowns, and says wait a minute. He disappears behind a curtain into the backshop.

He comes out a few minutes later and says, “No problem, it will be ready on Friday.”