Positivity? Simply focus on reality
This article is part of “Facelift Ecuador: Share Your Positive Story!“, an initiative to publish positive articles from CuencaHighLife readers. If you would like to submit your story, click here.
By Caramel Topping
A face lift, medically known as a rhytidectomy, is a cosmetic surgical procedure designed to reduce visible signs of aging on the face and neck. Ecuador has no need for a face lift. It proudly shows its experiences, both good and bad, reflected in on the faces of the people I sit alongside on the Cuenca city buses.
I came to Loja in the autumn of 2018 with my dog and 3 suitcases. No container would be following. My $9 a night AirBnB stay was on the outskirts south of town, the last stop on the bus where daily the father of my English-speaking hostess, would come visit his daughter to get away from his wife. I spoke no Spanish, yet the señor was eager to chat with me as a newcomer to his country. I smiled a lot. Early on I discovered a smile often helps with a language barrier.
My first new friends actually enjoyed the company of an expat retiree. We remained friends for years until they departed for Europe to continue their own life adventures. She helped me find an apartment in the fancy Rodriguez Witt neighborhood. A recent construction, all electric by current standard, was suitable until the top-floor unit was occupied, which caused water pressure in my ground floor unit to vanish. Did I throw a gringo fit when my landlord was hesitant about fixing the problem? I did not. If you are committed to making a nice life in retirement anywhere in Ecuador, you shrug your shoulders, chuckle and remind yourself, “this is Ecuador”.
A medical condition made it prudent for me to relocate to Cuenca a week before the lock down. For a second time, I met a Cuencano abogado through an expat acquaintance. The young man was moving his family out of an apartment and I moved in. He’s been my lawyer since then.
A few years later, a third Cuencano connected me with his amigo who had just purchased another rental house. Yes please, I’ll take it. Many expats choose the high rise scenic view living. Perhaps they meet their fellow neighbors in the sky that way. I prefer ground level living. I look out my office window to watch the cow lady lead her 3 cows to graze on the empty lots. I feed the neighborhood street dogs slices of mortadela and watch their pack mentality when a strange dog dares to wander through the block. Two houses down is where a security firm operates and young men line the sidewalk to apply for work. Two houses down the opposite side is a family with 3 English-speaking young adult children. We collaborated on getting a street dog hit by a car to get hip surgery. I added him as my third dog. The younger daughter who helped with the dog’s physical therapy comes over to watch movies and practice her English. We’re working together on a portfolio website for her graphic design career.
I hate when the YouTube algorithm recommends yet another travel vlog on the “wonders of Cuenca”. “It’s a UNESCO World Heritage Site!” I mock people who say they had to visit Ecuador once or several times before making the decision to settle here. You don’t see the challenges of a life anywhere while visiting as a tourist or watching YouTube videos. I’ve lived in 6 states in the US. One I consider more scenic than Ecuador and one I refer to as the Pit of Hell. However, I didn’t feel the need to “fall in love” with any of them. To require that can set you up to fail to be content with situations as they present themselves. Instead, I made a nice home over which I had complete control. You learn where the rough neighborhoods are and you stay away. I made friends, many with whom I keep in touch via chat. I did volunteer work in the US and I’ve also done it here. I don’t feel compelled to improve my Spanish because I’m confident the cashier at Coral has no interest to chat with a gringo while she scans my items.
My 7th “state” happened to be Ecuador, but my approach was no different. The only thing that is permanent is death. Expats leave Ecuador all the time for various reasons, but not because it has a saggy face.
