Bringing joy to Cuenca’s poor and sick children puts the true meaning back into Christmas

By Garry Vatcher

Christmas is one of those seasons that stirs up a lot of emotions — some people can’t wait for it, while others can’t wait for it to be over. For me, Christmas as a child was not something I looked forward to. I never enjoyed putting up the tree, but I was always eager to help take it down on January 6. As the oldest of eight children, who needed help with their gifts, and having a birthday on Christmas Day, it wasn’t exactly a season filled with joy for me. Those of us born around Christmas know the drill: “This is your birthday and Christmas gift, together.” Deep down, we know they’ve really forgotten our birthday. You get used to it. While my siblings had birthday parties, I didn’t. Bah humbug!

Children get to choose their gifts.

Things took a turn for the better when I met my Ecuadorian partner, Severo, in Toronto in 1982. Ecuadorian Christmas is a bit different. The celebrations happen on Christmas Eve. The Ecuadorian family would come over, there would be lots of food and gift exchanges. But Severo had a special tradition: before midnight, all the dishes had to be washed, the food put away, and the gifts set aside. Aside from the flickering lights on the tree, Christmas was over at midnight. Then, the cake came out and a new celebration began — it was my birthday! This became our tradition, year after year.

That changed after Severo passed away on November 26, 1993. After the funeral in Cuenca, I returned to Toronto on December 8. I never anticipated how it would affect my feelings about Christmas. That first Christmas, I spent completely alone. No visitors, no parties, no cake. No one said “Happy Birthday” or even “Merry Christmas.”

Feeding the hungry at Hogar de Esperanza.

I began making up stories to cope with the loneliness. Some may feel my stories were outrageously sacrilegious. I grew up in a very religious environment, where Christmas was all about Jesus, but I couldn’t seem to find Him anywhere in the chaos of spoiled children and stressed, unhappy people. I knew I was unhappy. So, when people asked what I was doing for Christmas, I’d say, “Jesus and I are going to get together, drink red wine, and complain about how no one thinks about us on our birthday.” This became my story for the next 20 years — spending every Christmas alone, with only Jesus dropping in to drink my wine and complain.

Things changed again when I returned to Ecuador in 2014. Since starting Foundation Hogar de Esperanza, I saw that so many people were alone at Christmas. So many children did not receive gifts. Many of them could not afford to have a Christmas dinner. I decided to do something about that.

Every year now, we at Hogar de Esperanza do a Christmas dinner for those who are alone at Christmas. We invite anyone who is alone for dinner. We go out into the streets and invite those living on the streets, those homeless to come and enjoy a Christmas dinner with us.

We also have parties for the children. Each year we bring gifts to children with cancer. Last year we brought gifts to over 300 children in the Amazon. Maybe because of how I felt neglected in the gift receiving, we distribute gifts to the children in a very unique way. We do not wrap them or give them to the children. We lay out hundreds of choices on tables and tell the children they can pick what they want. You can only imagine the joy on these children’s faces when they not only get a gift but they get to choose.

A Christmas gift brings joy to a sick child.

We have distributed thousands of gifts to children and fed thousands, but nothing is more special to me than the children we help who have cancer. I had a sister who died from cancer when I was 10 years old, so it has a special place in my heart. We interview each family and ask the child what they would like for Christmas and we try to get them what they want. We also provide food to the family and gifts for the other children in the family. The stories are heart-wrenching and touching but two in particular stand out to me and I wanted to handle them personally.

One of them was a six-year-old girl who had leukemia, the same age as my sister when she died. She wanted a backpack for school. While reviewing the forms, I noticed that Christmas day was her birthday. I told the staff to not let them know I was coming. I knocked on the door of the room and the mother opened the door. They were so incredibly poor. They had little furnishings and no food. This mother was spending what she could get to save her daughter’s life. I gave the little girl her backpack, the best one I could find. It even had little lights in it that lit up whenever she touched it. I gave her brother a train set and the mother a basket of food. I then went to the car and brought in her birthday cake. She screamed with joy and her mother cried because she could not afford to buy her a cake. The girl threw her arms around me and said, “Thank you for making this the best birthday ever!” But I knew this could be her last.

Another 8-year-old boy loved soccer. His cancer forced him to stop playing and he was so depressed about it. His treatments were no longer working. All he wanted was a soccer ball. But we gave him more. We arranged with the city to have a special event for him. At the soccer field, there was a receiving line of hundreds of citizen guards, police and others waiting for him. He received signed jerseys from his favorite teams and a free soccer school membership for a year. He spent the afternoon playing soccer with three different teams. His mother contacted me about six months later and told me his cancer treatments started working again and he is now in remission. All because of the happiness we gave her son.

Now, I cannot wait for Christmas. It is probably the most wonderful time of the year, for me. So now when I get asked what I am doing for Christmas I have a different story. Maybe Jesus and I hatched this one up when we were drinking too much wine on Christmas Day. But I tell people, “You see, Jesus and I are twins. They captured him and killed him. I escaped. So, every year I put on this big party to celebrate our birthday.” The people we help smile. They know it is a tall tale, but then to them, Jesus is someone who loves them, brings them hope, brings them joy. Which is what we do each year.

Finding the true meaning of Christmas in the hustle and bustle and pressures during the season can be difficult. Many, like me, can become jaded from our experiences with it over the years. Some of us, like me, can make up weird and maybe untrue stories to escape the emotions. Here in Ecuador, there are so many opportunities to put some meaning back into the madness. Helping children with cancer, those living in precarious situations, feeding those living on the street. There are many organizations who will be asking for support this Christmas and I encourage you to support whatever organization you are comfortable with.

We always welcome your support and look forward to you joining us as we encourage, support and show some love to those living in vulnerable situations. If you would like to do something that has special meaning to you, we would love to help you make that a reality. You can find our complete Christmas program here along with ways to donate or contact us.
_________________

Garry Vatcher is president and founder of Foundation Hogar de Esperanza. He has been coming to Ecuador since 1987 and permanently moved to Cuenca 11 years ago. The foundation provides emergency assistance to thousands of people each year. With his guidance, the foundation has forged alliances with some of Ecuador’s major institutions including hospitals, the National Police, Amazon communities, universities, and governments. The foundation has received numerous awards and recognition for its work from local and international bodies. For information about all Foundation Hogar de Esperanza projects, to to Foundation Hogar de Esperanza go to https://hogaresperanza.org