Love across the miles: An expat’s Mother’s Day

By Ashley Rogers

There’s something about living abroad that changes the way you experience certain days—and Mother’s Day is one of them.

It’s not that the meaning disappears. In many ways, it deepens. But instead of a shared meal or a familiar embrace, the day often arrives with a quiet awareness of distance—measured not just in miles, but in moments you can’t quite replicate from afar.

Missing Mother’s Day while living abroad is a common challenge for expats, often bringing feelings of sadness, loneliness, grief—and yes, sometimes guilt.

Mother’s Day means something different to each of us. For some, it’s a celebration. For others, it’s a memory.

For those who have lost their mothers, or whose moms are living with dementia or other memory challenges, it can be even harder. The mother you knew and loved may no longer be fully “there.”

Missing your children who have become mothers themselves brings a different set of emotions—reminders of who you were as a mother, what your child learned… or didn’t learn from you… and what she now carries into her own family. It can also heighten the longing for your daughter and grandchildren, and for the experiences and growth you’re not there to witness when you live abroad.

I am a single woman who was adopted and never knew my biological mother. I had a strained relationship with my adopted mother, yet we still found love in different and meaningful ways. When she died at 70—four years younger than I am now—she had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. My fond memories are of our earlier days, not those last painful ones.

So for me, Mother’s Day brings a quiet malaise, a longing for a relationship that might have been different, and the realization that it can never be re-created. And yet, she helped shape the woman I am today—with a little help from my friends, inner work, and the occasional therapy session.

For many living far from home, holidays like Mother’s Day become a gentle reminder that distance doesn’t change our hearts—it simply reshapes how we connect and remember.

For those who will be separated during this meaningful day, here are a few ways to stay connected:

• Stay Virtually Close – Schedule a Zoom, WhatsApp, or FaceTime call—even if time zones make it challenging. Being present, even briefly, can mean everything.
• Use Technology Thoughtfully – Even technology has found its way into these sentimental moments. People are creating AI-assisted photos, cards, or memory collages in minutes — small, personal tributes that can bring a sense of closeness, even across time or distance.
• Create New Traditions – Gather with your “chosen family” in your new home. Share stories, laughter, memories, and even photos of your respective kids. A simple champagne brunch or evening together – saluting the mothers you were and are — can bring comfort and connection.
• Give Something Meaningful – When you can’t be there in person, consider a gift that carries deeper meaning—something that can be returned to and cherished over time.
• Reconnect Through Food – Cook your mother’s favorite recipes and let the familiar aromas bring back memories of home and shared traditions. Or schedule a video call when your mother or daughter is celebrating Mother’s Day and be the long-distance guest at the table.
• Plan Ahead – If possible, schedule a future visit. Having something to look forward to can make the distance feel a little smaller.

Of course, none of this replaces being together. But it can serve as a reminder that a mother’s love doesn’t disappear with distance or time—it simply finds new ways to be felt.

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere.
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Ashley Rogers is a freelance writer, award-winning documentary filmmaker, former network television producer, and real estate entrepreneur from New York and Los Angeles, now based in Cuenca, Ecuador. Her work has taken her from the Sahara Desert to the Amazon rainforest in search of stories of human resilience, creativity, and connection. She is the author of Vivi and Me: My Love Affair with a Bot, a deeply human conversation between a woman and her AI companion that explores love, the meaning of life, reinvention, aging, and staying curious in a changing world. She is also the founder of Soul Star Press and Soul-to-Soul, a modern-day online salon.